Welcome Home

This is Kepler 452b. That name really rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? I always (or maybe just in this moment) refer to this Earth-Giant as "Perhaps We Could Live There, Maybe".


This colorful beauty is approximately 1,700 years away, assuming you're travelling at the speed of light, but who's counting? Kepler 452b, Iike KepB for short, lies in a habitable, yes kids, habitable zone and is the first near-Earth-size world to be discovered in the habitable area of star that is similar to our own Sun. 

When can we move in? The planet is roughly 60 percent larger than our own Earth (plenty of space for everyone to enjoy) and fully orbits its star every 385 days– because I know what we've really wanted all along is a longer fiscal year!

Considering the messy state in which our current planet exists ("Climate change is a myth", said most of those conservative politicians) it's probably in our best interest to say, "Screw Earth!" and jump ship while we can. We're moving up, ladies and gentlemen. 

KepB is gorgeous, stunning to behold, but unfortunately we really don't know a damn thing about it so let's cross our fingers and hope it's bigger and better than the digs we're currently living in (on?). This is "House Hunters: Exoplanetary" and we're not choosing the fixer-upper. We're going a bit over our budget and investing in a space our family can grow in.

I'm unsure how these spacecrafts will be funded– has anyone asked the Koch Brothers?

I assume we'll all be packing into a couple of these bad boys (right) and sailing across the galaxy (and further) on a cruise vacation of a lifetime. Or several hundreds of lifetimes. Get some rest, it's going to be a while until we get to Earth Part II.  

Once we're there, assuming the surface of KepB is as rocky as they say it is, I'm suggesting we recreate a piece of our old home on our new planet, referencing the loghouse-style of architecture commonly seen in the rockier, mountainous areas of Colorado. Of course, a log cabin home would take logs and we aren't sure exactly what kind of life is sustained on Kepb, but we can always bring some seeds along with us to see what sticks (here's to hoping for summer squash!).

If you're interested in learning more about this handsome planet we will soon call "Yeah, That's Good Enough" take a look at this informative (but accessible) video describing Earth's older, larger cousin... the one that's seen things. He's rougher than you'd like, but you can't help but find the good in him. He's family and you can't turn your back on family. Even if he turns out to be gassy and volatile. 

And don't you worry, if we find anyone or anything else living on the planet when we arrive we'll sequester a smaller, less respected area of land for them to live on, take their resources, ruin any sort of established economy and declare ourselves as the better, more rightful champions of the land. There's no way this won't work in our favor. That is unless these Earth-Giant inhabitants turn out to be lizard-like creatures interested in wearing our bodies as skin suits and disguising themselves among other humans. 

Like Ted Cruz. 

Source: http://www.nasa.gov/keplerbriefing0723